THANKFULNESS IN THE AFTERMATH

Walking up to the door of this holiday season, we anticipated the difficulty before us.  Working through loss and memories. Aching for a Bear-hug when he doesn’t come through the door. Our table full, yet groaning with an emptiness. The puzzle table missing his baritone laughter. Conversations lacking his dry humor and button-pushing banter.

These things we anticipated. We worked to prepare ourselves for warm family gatherings, while hearts still ache and sorrows linger.  

But, unexpected? The depth of the wave of grief resurfacing which slams that brightly decorated holiday door into our still tender hearts. Tears and ache come in astonishing measure. Holidays are about family. He should be here. With us. What in the world happened to our family circle? Now permanently whacked out of shape.

The paradox of a season of thanksgiving bumps hard against such deep hurt. 

Sure, we can verbalize a litany of thanks. We have not lost our ability to recognize our blessings and give thanks for them. 

But quietly the Lord asks, “Are you thankful in all things? For even this? For the loss you face daily and the grief you carry?”

The clock ticks against silence as the answer is weighed. Thankful for heart-wrenching sorrow? Thankful for the hole in our family? In our life?

A wrestling begins. But quickly surrenders to truth.

A whispered response. Barely heard above the ticking of time. “Yes, Lord”. We answer. “Yes. Even in this we give thanks”. 

We give thanks for pain that reflects the blessing of having loved so deeply. For enjoying a unique life God breathed into being and gave to us for a time. 

We give thanks because our sorrow does not go unnoticed by the King of the Universe. His presence with us very real, for His way is to draw close to the broken-hearted.

We are thankful as our understanding of the fragility of life deepens. That our lives are but a wisp of smoke on the horizon. We have such a short time to live and love. And a limited time to surrender to the Greatest Love of all. A new urgency hushes the voices of worldly passions to put energy toward eternal work; loving Him with all our heart, soul and mind and loving others as ourselves.

We say thanks as we recognize we’ve become more pliable in the hands of the Potter. We feel Him working to shape all of this slippery, gray mess into beautiful vessels to hold His glory. And then to partner with Him as we pour His Light into a dark and hurting world.

We are thankful, for we know our pain is not an end in itself, but hints at coming riches and understanding. Around our journey through this darkness, swirl rays of light exposing deeper truths. Greater understanding. An unquenchable longing for Him. A relinquishing of our false sense of security and control. A deeper level of trust in the Sovereign One.

And, we are thankful for the sharpened understanding of the joy of our salvation through Christ. Our Redeemer. Our Hope. 

We are shaken by the vast number of friends and family who are also on a difficult road of suffering. Pain. Sorrow. Uncertainty. Hardship. To each we encourage to grab on to the One who longs to walk with you. Surrender to His lavish love. Give in to His sovereignty in all things. He is the only place to find rest in our strife. He our only hope. Our reason to keep on. He will transform our pain into joy. He promises to turn our mourning into dancing. 

We have not arrived at the dance yet. But we are beginning to hear the music beckon us as we move forward into His complete healing. Blessed be His Name.